sometimes an angel is found in the dark
by Wakahisa D. Manami
Summary: He had to hurry or he was going to- he didn't know what. Scream, throw things, attack Law, or – worse than all – break down and cry. He couldn't handle the humiliation of crying in front of the Alpha. He'd rather die. Law was sitting up, frowning, but Kid couldn't bring himself to look at him. If he was disgusted with himself, what did Law think?
1. Chapter 1

This is a four chapter work; I'll probably be posting the chapters within a few days of each other for balance. I just want to emphasize the tags beforehand; this is dark at times and features a whole lot of self-disgust, internalised sexism, Kid struggling with himself, and features literally running away from your problems.

The name of the story comes from the book Alpha and Omega by K. Webster. I know nothing about the book I just googled omega quotes and liked this one *blushes*

More discussion of internalised sexism and the society Kid is from at the end if you want more information before reading.

I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Law groaned, one hand coming up to grab his hip, and Kid felt as if he'd been struck by lightning.

'What the fuck am I doing?' he thought, panic racing through his system.

He was having sex with an Alpha, or about to. He wasn't even supposed to be alone with Law at this point. Their acquaintance had been- tolerable when it was just chance meetings in bars, conversations, helping the Alpha get back to his submarine in one piece. But he should have realised what was happening when Law asked for his number instead of giving it without hesitation.

When they were talking on the phone for _hours_ most days.  
When Law started asking him to join him on supply runs to keep him company.  
When he started offering to keep him company while he did _his_ supply runs.  
When they started making plans to spend time together in the next harbour days before actually arriving there.  
 **When Law kissed him on one of said gathering trips, _and he kissed him back without even thinking about it_ because he'd been wanting to kiss him for _weeks_.**  
When they forgot all about gathering and spent the rest of the day touching each other sprawled out on his coat on the grass until they both fell asleep.  
When Law invited him to stay the night.  
 _When it became a habit he didn't even think about and looked forward to._  
When Killer started asking questions.  
 **When Killer didn't even know where he was while they were on land _because he lied to him._**

He'd lied about his whereabouts to his brother. His Alpha, the head of his family in their prolonged absence from their mother. _Killer didn't even know where he was right now._ If something happened, Killer's only means of reaching him was via snail phone. He wouldn't be able to find him if he scoured the whole island because he'd never _dream_ he was on some other ship, in somebody's **bed**.

He should've introduced Law to Killer. He should've told Killer he was- **taken** by the Alpha.  
Should've asked Killer to talk to Law and arrange courtship or the other way around.  
Not form a relationship with Law without his Alpha's consent and knowledge.  
Without Law speaking to the head of his family, whether that was Killer in substitute or their mother directly.  
It should've- it should've been monitored. He shouldn't've been alone with Law at any point after they'd established they were interested in each other.

But here he was, half-naked on top of Law in the Alpha's bed. Having let himself be kissed and touched and _mated_ without his family's knowledge.  
He'd offered himself freely like a whore in a brothel.

He was _worse_ than the whores.

He knew the customs. He had family to speak for him, to give consent, to evaluate the interested Alpha. And he had chosen not to follow the rules. To turn a blind eye to the way Law looked at him from the very beginning as if he didn't notice. Ignored it all as if he didn't know Law wanted him when it was obvious he did. Kid might not be experienced with relationships, but he knew lust and longing when he saw it.

A whore had no choice, no other option. They were alone and desperate.

He was neither.  
He was just a _slut_.  
But then he already knew that.

He shuddered, shaking off the thought as he got up and grabbed his trousers. He couldn't stomach it at the moment, not after this realisation- he could deal with it later. He _had_ to deal with it later. He tied his sash around his waist quickly and buckled the belt as quickly as he could with his shaking hands. He had to hurry or he was going to- he didn't know what. Scream, throw things, attack Law, or – worse than all – break down and cry. He couldn't handle the humiliation of crying in front of the Alpha. He'd rather die.

Law was sitting up, frowning, but Kid couldn't bring himself to look at him. If _he_ was disgusted with himself, what did Law think? About an Omega who didn't even introduce him to his _Alpha_ before letting himself be mated? He couldn't imagine what things the Alpha wanted to say to him but refrained because he was obviously benefitting from his promiscuity. He couldn't even recall how often he'd let Law touch him, how often he'd let the Alpha mate him. Probably over a dozen times. Maybe _dozens_ of times. He'd _enjoyed_ it.

He shuddered, almost dropping the bandolier before he managed to fasten it. He was aware of Law speaking to him, asking what was wrong, trying to get him to talk to him, but he was too caught up in the maelstrom of thoughts and emotions to hear him.  
Law grabbed his arm as he was pulling his coat on, other hand reaching for his face as if trying to make him look at him, and Kid shook him off, growling a warning. He'd never tried or wanted to try stopping Law from touching him before.

He grabbed his boots off the floor and ran, desperate to get away before he did something stupid. He had to get away from the Alpha, from himself, from the fear, terrors, and memories crowding ever closer like a ticking time bomb. He had to find some place where he could unleash them without harming anyone. He'd hurt too many people from not being in control.

He had to get away so he could think. Remember, forget, understand-

Think, think, think, think, _go_ -

* * *

Kid's island is very backwards. Omegas are to stay at home, have and raise children, take care of the infirm and elderly, do as they're told, and obey their Alphas every whim. It's similar to the standards of the Victorian era except instead of it being male over female it's Alpha over Omega. 'Omega' is a dirty word. Omegas sometimes are not even given names. If they are, they might not be referred to by their name, only by their gender.  
Omegas don't have a choice in their mating; the head of the family (in most cases the Alpha parent, any sort of same gender relationship being frowned upon) consents to and arranges the mating. An Omega can express their wishes if they're interested in someone but if the one they're interested is not considered suitable for some reason it is instantly denied. An Alpha who's interested in an Omega and has something the Omega's family wants (money, family ties, influence, certain skills, etc.) is almost guaranteed to get the Omega regardless of the Omega's view of them.  
Before the mating is announced and takes place there is a trial relationship period (courtship or courting) where the Alpha and Omega spend time together under careful watch by family members or relatives. They're not allowed to be alone together and no touching but handholding and greeting/farewell kisses are allowed. The Omega is to be 'pure' when the mating takes place, not having been touched beforehand.

At the same time, any Alpha who finds an unprotected Omega in heat and mates them has them for life. 'Rape' is not something they believe exists. Omegas are considered free game if not protected. An Omega is believed to be constantly prepared and ready for sex; being in heat is not considered relevant. An Omega who is raped outside of their heat is no longer pure; they're soiled and dirtied and unfit for mating. The family might force them into slavery or prostitution to 'pay' for having let themselves be sullied if they don't throw them out on the streets outright; it's always the Omega's fault and not the Alpha's who raped them. If they don't fight the Alpha off or somehow overpower them it's their fault, regardless of age, sex, or stature.

This sort of thinking is considered barbararic by most of the world. As has been mentioned by Law in other works of the series most consider Omegas precious and to be cherished, not hurt. They are rarer than the other genders, especially the males, and in many countries Omegas are the ones in high positions in government and religion, and even the Marines. There's a notable lack of Omegas among pirates, mostly because of the hugely pro-Alpha, macho environment and culture associated with them. Many Omegas who are pirates hide the fact they're Omegas as Kid does until after the timeskip (I haven't quite worked out the details yet). In some places they are automatically considered royalty or gods, and they certainly always choose their partners themselves. Hurting an Omega has grave consequences and punishment and rape, kidnapping, and forced mating have been punished by the criminal's death. When death isn't the punishment it is often called for by the Omega or those closest to them. Reparations also have to be made, and an Omega is never forced to mate or ever see the one who hurt them again. Them wanting to stay with the one who hurt them for any reason causes shock and outrage.

Kid's mother very much disagrees with and is against the backwards thinking. She's had to deal with similar stigma because of her personal choices (mating only with other Alphas, always carrying the children, etc.). She tried to shield Kid from it as much as she could, but in such a sexist sociey he was going to hear disparaging comments and face hypersexualization from the day he was born. His mother's mate very much agreeing with these views without ever sharing them with his mate or anyone but Kid himself makes the problem even worse. Not only was he spoken down to and hypersexualised by the majority of his society and peers but by his father figure.

Regarding head of the family and Alphas: In Kid's case, his mother is the head of the family. As Kid isn't mated at this point in the story, the head of the family is his Alpha; the Alpha who speaks for him and makes decisions on his behalf like any parent or legal guardian (as an Omega in their society Kid never reaches legal majority). In their mother's absence, Killer, as his eldest brother and only family member nearby, becomes the head of his family and his Alpha. When Kid and Law mate, Law becomes his Alpha and the head of his family.  
In the rest of the world, it generally doesn't work like this, which is why it doesn't occur to Law to 'ask permission' or speak to anyone but Kid himself. Many of their problems lie in the cultural differences because both assume they come from the same background.

If you want to know more, ask away!


	2. Chapter 2

The snail phone was ringing. It'd been ringing on and off for what seemed like forever. He just hadn't been aware enough to hear it until now.

He was curled up in-between the roots of a gigantic tree somewhere in the middle of nowhere, coat pulled around him for warmth.

He'd been there for a while. Maybe hours. Maybe days. He wasn't sure.

He'd slept most of the time. Woken up screaming or crying, sometimes scrambling to move so he wouldn't throw up all over himself, sometimes shot up to realise he was pounding his fists into the ground or the tree itself like his arms had a mind of their own. He could never quite grasp where the desperation came from, why he was screaming or throwing up even as he was doing it. He couldn't remember the dreams. Not fully. Only tiny flashes. He wasn't sure whether it was memories or just plain old nightmares. Maybe both.

Most of the time, when he wasn't this badly off, he remembered every detail of the dreams, but nothing but vague feelings or ideas of the nightmares. They always seemed to follow and acerbate each other, and only served to confuse and upset him when he was feeling bad enough already.

He got up regularly. Usually every other time he woke up, sometimes every third time. Depended on how tired and disoriented he was. He always drank water from a nearby stream, ate some berries or fruits, passed water, then returned to the nest he'd chosen for himself. He liked small spaces he had to squeeze his bulk into to fit when he was upset. Made him feel safer, like the tiny gap between the forge and the wall he used to squeeze into when he didn't want his mother's mate to find him or the kids had been especially cruel or he'd got blood on his clothes fighting them off and didn't want his mother to see it. The roots were a good place, firm and grounding, softened by the falling leaves. He'd have to try to remember that.

He didn't have much of anything with him. He only had the snail phone because he kept it in a specially made pocket in his coat, weight supported by the bandolier. It'd been uncomfortable no matter how he shifted it so he'd ended up taking it out of the pocket. Else he probably wouldn't hear it. He didn't have any fire-making materials, so he didn't bother trying to catch anything to eat. He wasn't eating anything raw.

He was deranged, not a barbarian.

He didn't know where he was. Had no idea which direction was which or where the town lay, and at the moment, he didn't care. He was comfortable in his little nook between the roots and wasn't ready to deal with or face people quite yet. He needed more time before he tried to get back.


	3. Chapter 3

The snail phone started ringing once again. There seemed to be an added urgency, but maybe he was just more aware now than he had been.

He reached for it, hesitated, then closed his eyes and picked up the receiver.

" _Kid!_ " She'd never referred to him as Omega as so many others did. He was always Kid, just like Killer was Killer and Di was Di. She didn't care about his gender, about his biological difference from the others. She loved him just as much and in just the same way as the others, regardless of their inherent difference. She didn't think he was inferior or worthless for anything but breeding like so many did. He was her son, and she loved him.

" _Mother-_ "

" _I've been worried sick! We're **all** worried sick-_ "

" _I'm sorry, I'm sorry-_ "

" _Sh; it's all right, darling. Everything's gonna be just fine._ "

He was crying like a baby, slumping against the root, sobs wracking his shoulders as he stared at the snail phone showing her gentle, comforting smile, hearing her murmur to him just like when he bumped into something or burnt himself when he wasn't careful enough or stood up to the kids and been beaten for his insolence. He felt terrible, but a different kind of terrible than before. He wasn't disgusted with himself anymore, consumed with terrible thoughts and anxiety, but drained and ashamed of himself.

She'd sent the cobwebs away like his childhood nightmares and made him feel himself again. Sometimes he wished he'd never left home because try as he might Killer could never help him as much or as easily as their mother could. Sometimes he called her in the middle of the night for reassurance, when he was angry or lonely or drunk or had woken up screaming. Sometimes all at once. She'd listened to him cry or ramble drunkenly for hours, and never lost patience. Her soothing words and smile always calmed him, even if it sometimes took a long time.

He was twenty years old and called his mother if he had a nightmare. He wasn't proud of it, but it was the only thing that never failed. And she had made him promise to always call if he needed her regardless of the time or place.

He knew he'd been stupid. He shouldn't've run away even though it felt like he was gonna explode. Law could probably have detained him even in the worst case. He was a D., damn it, stronger than he and Killer put together and that wasn't something he said or admitted to lightly. Law was probably used to people going crazy on him anyway. He shouldn't've growled at him and ran off like a loon. He was a grown arse man, damn it, needing his mother to talk him down or not.

" _What happened, Kiddo? What was so bad you had to run away?_ "

" _I-I've been seeing an Alpha, mother, I- I didn't tell anyone; Killer hasn't even met him-_ "

His mother sighed, but he could tell it was a sigh of relief.

" _Oh, darling, you ran away because of an Alpha? At your age? Well, you never did have interest, I suppose it was just a matter of time …_ "

" _I-I haven't just been seeing him, I- we-_ "

" _Eustass Kid, if you're trying to tell me you're pregnant you're coming straight home even if I have to fetch you myself! You're twenty years old, you have your whole life ahead of you-_ "

" _I'm not **pregnant**!_ "

" _He's not hurting you, is he?_ " There was more steel in her voice than in her forge. His mother was a force to be reckoned with. She'd taught him everything he knew.

" _No, no, he's- he's good to me, mama. It's- it's just- I- I haven't talked to anyone and- and we aren't_ courting _or anything and-_ "

" _ **You** choose your partners, Kid; no one can tell you whether you can be with them or not. Put it all behind you, sweetheart. You know things here are ridiculous. I know it's hard, I know it's been ingrained in you since you were born despite everything I've done to try and stop it, but you need to move on from that. None of it is true. And I know you don't feel that way when it comes to others. It doesn't apply to you either. You must try to remember that._

" _I'd known your father all of two hours when I jumped his bones, Alpha or no._ " Kid cringed. He didn't need to hear about his mother's sex life, long ago and relevant to his birth or no. " _He was beautiful and so nice to your brothers and I was lonely, raising them after_ Dishan _died with no one to help me but your grandfather, bless his mad, over-bearing soul._

" _We are a strong family. We have never done things as was considered proper. We have fought for our status and we have held it because we are the best. Because we are strong and our roots go back thousands of years. We do not listen or play along to the ridiculous habits and customs of others. We make our own. And I know you will do the same and make us all proud._

" _I'm sure this Alpha is wonderful. You don't need my blessing, but if you want it I will give it. As long as he makes you happy, as long as he's good to you, you have my blessing._ "

" _Thank you,_ " Kid whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

Law couldn't believe his eyes when he entered his bedroom and saw Kid sitting on the bed. It'd been five days since the Omega had run off pale as death, shaking like a leaf, and he hadn't seen or heard from him since. He hadn't answered his increasingly frantic calls and Law'd watched his crew get more and more concerned from afar. He didn't think Kid would appreciate him approaching them; he knew the younger man hadn't told them about their relationship.

"I used your shower. I didn't think you'd mind."

Law almost laughed. He'd been worried sick, and here Kid was five days later apologising for using his shower.

"I've been worried sick." Kid ducked his head, shoulders slumping. "Where have you been? Your crew's been looking for you for days."

"I know, I-I realised something and I got scared and- I ran away instead of dealing with it … I shouldn't have, but I did. I'm sorry."

Law's anger faded quicker than it'd appeared. Kid looked contrite and vulnerable, and he'd said he'd been scared. He'd never admitted anything like that to him before.

"Are you all right?" Kid's head shot up, confusion apparent in his face. "Are you all right now? Have you worked through your realisation?"

"I'm working on it." He smiled a little. "It's gonna take some time, but- I think it's gonna be OK. I'm feeling better." He hesitated a minute before continuing. "Can I- can I stay here tonight? With you? Killer's so mad at me; I don't think he'll let me on the ship for a while."

Law cracked up, he couldn't help it. Kid had never asked if he could stay the night before, and it was only because his brother was mad at him.

Kid grinned up at him, falling back onto the bed and working on kicking his boots off.

"Oh, no, you're not getting away this easy."

The Omega shrieked with laughter as Law tickled him mercilessly, ending sprawled out on top of him in an attempt to keep from being punched or kicked by the Omega's flailing limbs. He was so fucking ticklish, and so completely and utterly rubbish at keeping him away despite his tries that Law was even more charmed than usual.

His face was as red as his hair, tears of laughter staining his cheeks, still flailing in an attempt to get away, and Law suddenly realised that this was more than just curiosity and attraction. He was absolutely enthralled by Eustass Kid.

Head over heels in love with him.

He didn't know how he hadn't realised straight away, but he did know that he was completely and utterly all right with this development.

He never thought he'd see the day.


End file.
